Things are looking up

We have a second meeting with the base management about getting more/different housing. Apparently they didn’t know that we’ve been living in “transient tents” for the last 2-3 months. Good times there. Now if I can just get on a set schedule I’d be set. Since I’ve been here my hours have been noon-4, 2 days a week; no hours at all per week; 6 am – 2pm, 5 days a week, 7am – 2pm 5 days a week; 7pm – 7am, 5 days per week; and now I’m working midnight to 8am 5 days per week. I’m hoping it doesn’t change again for a while. As far as work goes I’ve actually been busy the last week working anywhere from 12 to 15 hours per day. The new unit is coming in and with them they have computers; all of which have to be completely reloaded. So I (and 2 other people) have reloaded ~80 computers without an imaging server at all. For those of you who know what that means, you’ll appreciate how tedious my life has been for the last 10 or so days. But there is hope! I’m at work now and the last computer we have is being loaded as I type this.

In other news: I’m not sure who I need to talk to about getting a sentence stricken from the English language, but if you know who it is then please let me know.  A soldier unloading a truck the other day looked down at me, rpg in hand, and said “hey, you want a free rocket”. This should be stricken for 2 reasons:

1.      1. The answer is always yes.

2.      2. The answer is always yes.

Number 1 is the case and thus it’s a redundant and useless question and just wasting time and energy of both people involved in the conversation. Number 2 is the case because there’s no end to the destruction, chaos, and all around havoc (IE FUN!!!) that can happen as a direct result of having a free rocket at your disposal.

Someone asked me the other day if I could expound on some of the acronyms I’ve been carelessly throwing around in these blogs. To this I say STFU and RTFM. JK :), I’ll let you in on the secret. Please bear in mind that I haven’t actually looked any of this up so who knows if any of it is correct.

1.       DFAC – Dining FACility. This is where I go 2 or 3 times a day to eat. If you would like to experience this for yourself then simply find a crappy middle school cafeteria and go and eat explusively there for several months and you’re living the military life.

2.       MWR – Morale, Welfare, and Recreation – I didn’t look that up, although someone told me what it meant so maybe that’s the same thing. I’m sorry I lied to you…This is where people go to “have fun”. I’ve yet to go there though. Bunch of people sitting around a small TV watching a movie that someone else picked out just doesn’t sound that stellar to me.

3.       PX – Prettyfigginsorry eXcuseforastore: This is where you go if you want to buy some chips, a monster energy drink, or an excruciatingly small selection of toiletry items. Chances are if it’s something you absolutely need then you’ll have 1 choice. Otherwise they probably won’t have it.

I’m pretty sure that’s the only things I’ve thrown out there at this point. If you have any question please see my assistant…which is me.

My last post was just a joke

I wouldn’t do something that stupid without following it up with something equally as stupid (but slightly more interesting). I’ve had several people ask me what went on over here for Independence Day. The answer to that question is “the same thing that happens every day, Pinky.” The one major difference being that the DFAC was excessively decorated. It looked like Uncle Sam ate so many freedom fries that he exploded and his patriotic goodness went flying all over the place. We had table cloths, streamers, banners, an 8 foot tall statue of liberty (no, I’m not making that up), etc. Among the festive decorations they also made several cakes in various shapes. One was actually shaped like an alligator (no, I’m not making that up either). Supposedly there was a bar-b-q going on somewhere too but I couldn’t find it (nor did I really look for it). Other than that though it was business as usual.

In other news: I saw my first camel spider when I was walking around last night. For those of you who don’t know what that is here’s an image of one http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/6147284.jpg Most of these that I hear about from the people here are big enough that they would be able to fill a backup spot to destroy Tokyo if Godzilla ever got the flu and couldn’t make it to work, but this one was just a little guy (probably about the size of your average wolf spider). So I stood my ground and he scurried off into the darkness. If it were full sized then I probably would have chosen not to wrangle with it (That’s right, I said “wrangle”; thank you to the truck driver at Petro for adding that form of that word to my vocabulary just before saying I was “g******* inconsiderate”).

Hmmm…what else is going on here? Oh yeah, a new unit is coming in and the old one is leaving. This, for whatever reason, means that we now have to have people at the helpdesk 24 hours a day. This means I start my 12 hour shifts on Saturday night from 7PM to 7AM. What this means to me is that I will be insanely bored. I’ve been up here at night so I could use a desk to do some studying and there is nothing that goes on at all. So it will probably essentially be 60 hours of free time per week (as though I didn’t already have enough time to spend alone in my head (seriously, it’s scary in here. They’re talking about shooting Indiana Jones 5 in the Portugal section of my brain)). The good news about being here at nights is that I was told they are going to try to give night shift priority on getting into the CHUs so that could be  plus. And I should have plenty of time to read.

New discovery of the year (patent pending): I've discovered an alarm clock that actually works for me. It's not very efficient though as it requires a helicopter to hover about 20 feet over your sleeping area. Thanks for that middle of the night wake up call army, you're the best.

I guess that’s it. Oh yeah, one more thing: if I were an X Man then my mutant power would definitely  be stretching out something that is essentially nothing into a 500+ word essay.

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It's been a while since I've written anything on here...so now  I can't say that.